Keeping it 'real' on Facebook

For a couple of months I have flirted with the idea of deleting my Facebook personal account and removing myself completely from the world of 'likes' and 'status updates'. On a regular basis, it was becoming exhausting. It wasn't just the daily trawl of advertisements (thanks Facebook HQ) and recommended pages, but the ridiculous amount of over sharing and self indulgent posts. 

There were 'friends' who thought nothing of sharing poems and prayers which claimed to 'save' every sick child going and promised to bring them 6.4 billion years worth of luck. There were 'friends' who moaned and moaned and moaned about everything and nothing. There were 'friends' who posted stick thin images of themselves and claimed 'diet starts tomorrow!' and there were 'friends' who if I met in person, on the street, in real life, I would dodge to ignore. Yup, I was that shallow. Funnily enough, I'm not ashamed to admit it because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has done this. 

The reality was, I had nothing to talk to them about. Facebook had me well informed. So informed I probably knew what they ate for breakfast that morning and where they were headed the following week. I knew, because they shared it. They, like me, were telling the world that they had a life, they had a jam packed schedule full of friends and adventures that everyone and anyone had to know about it. Don't get me wrong, I've shared the same plans. "Can't wait for [insert actual friends name here] hen party, Dublin men watch out!". Followed by numerous check ins, drunken images, and telling anyone who'll read and listen the next day that "I'm dyin', NEVER again!". 

There's nothing wrong with sharing these great life events with each other, Facebook contributes in cementing these memories. But, over the last number of months, and perhaps it's a culmination of being on Facebook for five years, the sheer load of taking in all these events from up to 488 'friends' was just, well, it was overload.

It also dawned on me, that it wasn't a true reflection on life and that some of these 'friends' had actually been quite rude to me in real life. One 'friend' who I've met about three times in the last four years has always commented on my weight and looks. Always. We'd exchange the usual niceties and then, true to form, she'd look me up and down and say "That dress is very slimming on you". Girls, we both know that's not a compliment. The same girl (who's about a size 8, 10 in the real world) posted endless skinny outfit posts and then pictures of herself eating cake and say "I wish I was so good with food, feeling fat!". For f**ks sake, get a grip! It came to a head when the last time I met her, she looked me up and down again, looked over my head, tapped me on my arm and said "You're looking well, hun!". It was thee most faulty, 'can't think of anything nice to say, so I'll just say this' comment ever received. 

Facebook for me in recent months has pretty much just resulted in me feeling more sh*t about myself. From career envy, financial envy to life-in-general envy, I was feeling like I wanted out of this media that apparently is social. It's become far less social and far more isolating. We're surgically attached to our iphones, ipads, i-bleeding-everything and I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted from knowing everything right now at this minute. I'm exhausted from the over sharing, the selfies, the online / public displays of affection and down right 'pass the bucket' love. I'm even exhausted from having the internet at my fingertips, on my computer, at my desk, in the space that I work. 

I woke up this morning and decided. I decided I was going through this 'friends' list and I was removing everyone who wasn't an actual friend, a family member or someone I engaged with on a regular basis. I still see the value in having connections with those who I don't see on a regular basis, for example those who are creative like myself and who's work I admire. There are some advantages to Facebook, but the crazy over sharing and "Look....look at me and my amazing life!" carry on. Well, that had to end. I'm now more interested in hearing about peoples lives as and when I meet them, in person and not via Facebook and by giving them a like. This time, I prefer to congratulate them with a happy smile, a strong hug and a well meaning sentiment.

Spending about two hours, 'cas Facebook don't make it easy! I widdled 488 down to 96 and a weight lifted. It may sound dramatic, but I'm happy knowing that what I share and what I'll view will be solely for real friends and from real friends. Life is hard enough without having to view the accomplishments, fake or otherwise from those who don't really know you and isn't it more exciting to think that you may bump into some of these former 'friends' at anytime over the next number of years. As for 'yer wan' who likes to comment on my weight and looks, I may just continue to dodge her.

Is Blogging a Young Persons Game?

The lovely Abi and I at the recent Country Attire blogging event.

During the week I attended a lovely blogging event at the Hard Rock Cafe in Manchester city centre. I met some lovely bloggers that I had never come across before and got chatting to some whose blogs I was familiar with. It's always nice to meet the person behind the blog.

During my time at the event, I couldn't help but feel I was one of the more older participants present and perhaps didn't quite fit into the 'Manchester blogging demographic' mould. A demographic which increasingly feels like you should be under the age of 23, a student and a blogger who mostly blogs about fashion and beauty and has won numerous awards and accolades from the likes of Company magazine. After having lots of 'get to know you' chats with these great ladies, I found that many of them had only got their blog up and running in the last year or two and already they were receiving amazing feedback, huge interaction and readership, a flurry of sponsorship and invites to all sorts of fantastic events and blogger related activities. The green-eyed monster in me had been sparked and I was more than a little jealous.

Don't get me wrong, even though I have been blogging on and off for a number of years, I haven't exactly followed 'the rules' when it comes to building up a dedicated following. I've blogged on and off for months on end, moved from being a crafty blog to one with a wide variety of lifestyle topics, changed the name (just a little, mind) and dipped in and out of the blogging world with varying levels of commitment. This has probably confused readers, lost me some followers along the way and not at all helped in building up a brand of sorts.

However, given all of the above, I am wondering about whether blogging is becoming more of 'a young persons' game and whether the demographic of those reading blogs are in the 'Under 23' bracket? Is there an older demographic of sorts, out there wanting to read content that is more than beauty posts and outfits of the day? I'm not for one minute, bashing these type of posts. I do love and enjoy reading them. I vicariously live through some of these posts. Heaven knows I've bought numerous items because they were recommended by a beauty blogger (Benefit Erase Paste anyone?) and I've lost count of the amount of times I've skipped on down to Primark / Penneys simply because I've spotted a 'must have this item now' item in a haul post or vlog.

Personally, I do find it increasingly hard to find awesome 'must read' blogs created by those who are around the age of 28 and over and I find it difficult to find content and posts relating to my life experiences and topics that I instantly want to know about and can immediately relate to. At present, I want to read about developing a career, how to save ka-jillions of pounds in a short space of time, learn 50 things that you must do in your 30's and more! I want the same content written for those in their 20's tweaked, developed and produced for me.That goes for outfit posts too. I'm not sure I have the body / look to be pulling off dungarees and bowler hats, so perhaps outfit posts for those who feel Topshop is no longer for them maybe most welcome? I find myself increasingly drawn to Next of all places and standing out like a sore thumb when I enter River Island. I didn't always feel this way!

It also goes without saying, I'd love to find said content written by those who are within my age range and can relate to all of my woes above. Surely I'm not alone in feeling a little old in the world of bloggers? If so, maybe I'll go and set the 'over 30's trend'. An outfit of the day for those who are not quite 'over the hill' but also still young enough to get asked for ID now and again. I better go and started raiding the wardrobe and start practising my posing. You  know, those poses where it appears I'm unaware I'm being photographed as I casually look into the distance, looking all melancholy and the likes! It's gonna take a lot of practising.

I'd love to hear your thoughts below!

A few notes on Motivation and Willpower

Motivation and Willpower are qualities that don't come naturally to me. I'll be honest about that. Motivation and Willpower can be non existent in my life when it comes to exercise, getting sweaty and generally working towards improving my overall health. Take this morning for example, the gym bag had been packed the evening before, a healthy lunch sitting in the fridge ready to be popped into my bag and my gym gear laid out, ready to be worn.

The alarm sounded and the boy was quick to inform me that it was raining and pretty miserable outside. I groaned a little and groaned a little more at the thought of walking to the gym in the cold rain. Old Rebecca would have stayed in bed, slept for another 45 minutes and hit the snooze button on numerous occasions and then would have felt guilty for the rest of the day for not working out. I most likely would have promised myself that I'd start again tomorrow and then take comfort in a croissant or other fancy, French pastry. But that would have been ok, because I starting again tomorrow. 

This morning was different. After my mini groan and moan session, I asked myself a question. I asked myself "Do I have to get up and workout or do I get to get up and workout?" The answer was simple, I get to get up. I have the opportunity every single day to get up and do something with this body of mine. I am not inhibited by illness, disability or anything else closely related to that. I am able bodied, I am healthy and I should use it and use it well.

Now this little piece of inspiration didn't just strike me all of sudden this morning. In fact, I heard it while listening to Irish radio one morning last week. I didn't need to be in work until midday and so I enjoyed a leisurely morning, listening to Today FM, a slow breakfast and the dulcet tones of Ray D'arcy. On this particular day, I found myself listening to motivational speaker and marathon runner Gerry Duffy. He was providing a wealth of advice to those who had recently decided to sign up for a charity half marathon race being organised by the radio show itself. Numerous callers rang in and emailed their queries and Gerry together with Ray went through as many as possible. It was an interesting listen.

One potential half marathoner submitted a question about motivation and finding the will to run and train on the days they needed to do this. Gerry, a man who completed 32 marathons in 32 days and 10 iron mans in 10 days simply said "For me it's a case of, Do I have to run or do I get to run?". Mind.blown! He continued to say that over the years he has met numerous people who were not in the fortunate position of being able to get up and run whenever and where ever they wanted. As a result, those of us who can throw on some running gear, get out and run should appreciate how lucky they are. As soon as his segment was over, I threw on my gym gear and did one of my many 10k training sessions, just before work that morning. I don't have to convince you I felt a million times better for doing so and my day was much more productive.

This morning, when feeling like I would have much preferred to snooze a little longer, I asked myself that question once more. I quit the moaning, pulled back the covers and got going.

So, next time you're procrastinating on something, ask yourself

 'Do I have to [insert task here] or do I get to [insert task here]?'

image: Taken by my iPhone on Valencia Island, Summer 2013 and edited by me